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13 outlandish home listings that will make you laugh, and then cringe

Homeowners often try to go the extra mile when selling their home, like including a wealth of very unnecessary photos.

But lucky for us, these photos usually prove to be a treasure trove of endless cringes, eyerolls and giggles. There’s certainly something to tickle just about everyone’s funny bone in this collection of 13 peculiar home listings.

1. We’re guessing you’ve got a green thumb, eh?

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

Our first tragically comic listing comes out of Antioch, TN. The 1,650-square-foot, three-bedroom home is described by the homeowner as “nice.” The home also boasts an all-glass coat closet that is also “nice.” We thought the photo of the homeowner’s assortment of house plants was quite nice.

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

And, we would be remiss if we didn’t mention the thoughtfulness displayed by the homeowner when they included several photos of their collectibles. Honestly, we’re still trying to figure those out.

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

Sometimes, it’s best just not to know.

2. Plenty of storage… not so fast!

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

The owner of this two-bedroom Nashville, TN condo has “loved living there.” The unit features some nice updates, like new carpeting, and the owner goes out of their way to let prospective buyers know just how “convenient” the condo is. However, the owner omits any mention of closet or storage space. And judging by the bicycle pictured leaning against the dining room wall, we’re assuming there’s not a great deal of storage.

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

The homeowner also managed to take a selfie when photographing the unit. We’ll say it again, for those in the back — reflective surfaces are not your friend!

3. Didn’t get the memo re: reflective surfaces

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

Clearly, our warning regarding reflective surfaces went unheeded by this Spring Hill, TN homeowner. While photographing the “completely updated” three-bedroom, two-bath home, they carelessly took a selfie in one of the bathroom mirrors. It would be easier to overlook if any of the other included photos were even semi-passable, but they range from too dark to why-did-you-bother-to-take-this bad. It’s saying a lot when a bathroom selfie turns out to be the best shot in the lot.

4. Where am I?

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

Our next listing features a well-maintained one-bedroom, 750-square-foot condo in Nashville, TN. It boasts a gorgeous river view and is walking distance to “hip Germantown.” Other highlights include stainless steel appliances and hardwood floors. And, just in case you forget where you are after a night out in Germantown, there’s a huge sign in the bedroom that screams “NASHVILLE” to remind you.

5. Contender for ugliest bathroom of the year

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

This Madison, TN listing has a lot going on. The three-bedroom, two-bath home has a “well conserved, solid structure” and a tenant living in part of the home that would like to stay on. “Stranger living in your house” was not listed as an amenity. The horror show continues when you journey into the eye-sore of a bathroom, definitely a contender for ugliest bathroom of the year. The pea soup-colored walls do little to make living with a stranger more appealing.

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

Things finally come to a full stop when you take a gander at the homeowner’s creepy dolls, possibly kept at bay by a nearby cross. Between the stranger and the dolls, we get the creeped out feeling we’re going to end up in a wood chipper one way or another.

6. I see trees of green

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

This Little Rock, AR listing features a plethora of mislabeled photos, which are always good for a snicker. Apparently the front door opens onto a long patch of green and brown grass and power lines, while tall lush green trees line the kitchen. This would be fine if we were relocating to JRR Tolkien’s Shire or Hobbiton in Middle Earth, but we’re not.

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

Other standouts of this listing include the “new” hot water heater (2014), HVAC system (2013), and roof (2009).

7. Hey, that listing looks familiar

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

The homeowner of this Little Rock, AR listing liked their listing so much that they included screenshots of it. No, seriously. Every single one of this listing’s nearly dozen photos are screenshots from their phone. It’s a shame the homeowner ended up with such a low-tech listing because the three-bedroom home is otherwise very appealing. Next time, call the Geek Squad.

8. Something just doesn’t look right

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

Unlike our previous listing, this Conway, AR listing actually does feature a new roof and HVAC system. The two-bedroom, one-and-a-half-bath home tends to get “rented quickly,” according to the homeowner, who attempts to lure us in with promises of steady monthly income and building equity. Our eyes were seeing green until we spotted the HVAC system — something seemed amiss. We’re no experts, but shouldn’t that hose be plugged in somewhere? And just like that our dreams of retiring to Tahiti went up in smoke.

9. Too hot for the interwebs?

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

This North Little Rock, AR listing features a “great home” complete with a new roof (no, we’re not kidding) and a whole home generator. The two-bedroom, 1,400-square-foot home sits on a corner lot in the historic Park Hill district. The home appears quite cozy and well-cared for, judging from the photos. However, one photo in particular caught our attention. It looks like a censored photo, which of course only made us more curious. We debated scheduling our own private tour to find out what was hidden in the photo. Alas, for now, it remains a mystery.

10. Happy Valentine’s Day?

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

With a $45,000 asking price, this five-bedroom home in Little Rock, AR sounds like a steal. But, we raised an eyebrow at a few of the listing’s paltry selection of poorly lit photos. Let’s start with the obvious: just one bathroom for a five-bedroom, 1,600-square-foot home? We can hear the squabbles already. The included photo of one of the multiple bedrooms appears to be from Valentine’s Day — a card, roses, and a cute stuffed bear are clearly visible in one of the only well-lit photos in the listing. It’s not that we want to be down on true love, but we’re breaking up with this listing.

11. The House on Haunted Hill, part one

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

Speaking of steals, this “handyman special” out of Little Rock, AR seems to qualify. The 2,000-square-foot, three-bedroom home has an asking price of $54,000 — cash. The homeowner uses just one pithy word to describe this deal, “CHEAP!” Sounds great, if you like living in the house on haunted hill. The fixer-upper sits atop a small hill and is clearly “that” house on the block, the one the kids avoid at all costs. We can’t say we blame them. However, this dream house looks like the Taj Mahal compared to our next “handyman special” listing.

12. The House on Haunted Hill, part two

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

I would advise making sure you are up to date with your tetanus shot before stepping foot in our next listing. This Little Rock, AR home is also billed as a “handyman special,” selling for cheap — and cash, naturally. And, at $34,000 it certainly is more of a deal than our previous listing. However, we’d recommend just bulldozing the 1,600-square-foot, three-bedroom home and building your own dream home on the lot instead. There’s no way this house isn’t either haunted or infested with raccoons — and it probably does not have a new roof, either. For extra giggles, the homeowner used a Google maps photo. We’re sure there’s a horror movie out there somewhere that begins with some hapless chap answering this listing.

13. Settle down, seller

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

We’ll say this upfront, our final listing is a “gorgeous” four-bedroom, three-bath home and was well photographed by the homeowner. The home features a breakfast nook with butler’s pantry, an updated kitchen, a large porch with a swing, and an outdoor hot tub. The homeowner was just a little too overweening for us. For example, the commentary accompanying their photos was on par with a fashion model saying, “Yeah, I know I’m gorgeous. What are you gonna do about it?” Take it down a notch, homeowner. You’ll attract more bees with honey, or so the saying goes.

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