Water Cooler

These real estate listing photos are more naughty than nice

If you’ve come down with a case of the holiday blues, these 11 home listings might just restore some of your holiday cheer.

We scoured hundreds of home listings on the interwebs to find some of the most awkwardly funny listings photos — not to mention a few very questionable holiday decoration choices.

So, sit back, grab a cup of eggnog and enjoy these 11 festive and funny home listings as our holiday gift to you.

1. Do you see what I see?

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

Our first festive listing comes out of Warner Robins, GA, and features an “exceptional family home.” The homeowner even graciously provided a short list of the things they “love about the home,” which included great, quiet, family-friendly neighborhood — essentially, nothing at all about the home itself. The homeowner included several holiday photos with the listing, showing their knack for hanging stockings by the chimney with care, and a plethora of Christmas trees.

2. Down to the wire

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

There’s a lot to love about this White River Junction, VT listing. The 1,700 square foot two-bedroom, two-bath home is also “zoned for a home business.” We’re not sure what kind of home business the homeowner might be in, but judging from their living room we are fairly certain that they have a thing for cables and wires. There are literally lengths upon lengths of phone cord, coaxial cable, audio cable, and HDMI cable messily thrown under a table. The neat freak in us wants to unravel each and every one, wind them up nicely and tie them off with zip-ties.

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

Bonus points for pics featuring people unaware they're having about to be featured on the interwebs.

3. Dog, meet tree

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

Our next festively themed listing comes out of Clendenin, WV, and features a “beautiful stick built home sitting on 25 acres.” The 1,800 square foot two-bedroom home is certainly a charmer, and the homeowner certainly decked its halls with holly. But our favorite photo of the set was a rather dark Christmas tree and its apparent keeper — a cute little black senior dog. We had to wonder if the little guy (or gal) thought the tree was theirs to keep, but we weren’t happy to see Santa had not left Fido any gifts as of yet. We’re fairly certain if we asked, “Who’s a good boy” that Fido would respond affirmatively.

4. Flowers in the attic?

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

This Cedar Hills, UT listing is a bit of a headscratcher. The homeowner beckons us to “come and experience the warm embrace of this rambler.” Well, okay, but we’re not really sure how we feel about hugs from strange houses. The sprawling seven-bedroom boasts over 7,000 square feet of living space, and seems ideal for a growing family. To further push the home’s warmth, the homeowner decided to apply a filter to nearly all of the accompanying photos so they look like oil paintings.

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

We couldn’t help but notice the stark difference between the children’s bedroom and a rather ominous looking playroom. We wondered if the homeowners were playing favorites, or perhaps read a little too much V.C. Andrews.

5. Just put a bow on it

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

We rather enjoyed the direct “you belong here if…” and understatedness of the decor in this Dover, DE listing. The verbose listing tries to sell the home’s assets with a series of ‘you belong here’ statements, for example: “you belong here if you are looking for privacy, tranquility, safety, on a well lighted street without thru traffic in an up-scale neighborhood.” Apparently, you only belong if you enjoy birdwatching, being outdoors on hot summer days, golf, and need outside storage. While we don’t exactly fit the description, we did enjoy the homeowner’s lazy taping of bows to the glass backdoors of the home to make it appear merry and bright. Apparently, you also belong here if you like shoddy decorating.

6. We can still see you

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

Our next listing hails from Mansfield, OH and features a well-maintained two-bedroom starter home. All in all, the homeowner’s description is fairly accurate with apparent recent renovations in the kitchen and new-looking windows throughout the 1,000 square foot home. We also couldn’t help but notice the homeowner’s reflection smack dab in the center of door. Always check your reflective surfaces before snapping a pic!

7. Ho, ho, ho, ho, and ho

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

The owner of this Galion, OH home certainly loves their Santa Claus, and their privacy. The homeowner boasts that this is the perfect home if you’re essentially looking to be left alone without any neighbors around for miles. And with all that privacy, you can make the yuletide gay with no fewer than five likenesses of jolly old Saint Nick in one room. Take a gander and see if you can spot them all.

8. *Sorry, this cat is taken

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

This spacious 2,200 square foot, two-bedroom home in Shelby, OH has everything you could want in a home — a huge family room and master bedroom, a recently remodeled kitchen with “newer stainless steele appliances,” and even a “bonus” room that can be customized to your heart’s content. The only thing it doesn’t seem to include is the adorable black cat perched by the window. The homeowner made sure to let interested homebuyers know that the kitty was most definitely not included. Bummer. We’re suddenly not that interested.


Photo: forsalebyowner.com

The owner of this Columbus, OH home is so confident that the listing’s photos will sell the home, that they literally had no sales pitch whatsoever included with the listing. From what we gleamed from the details, the home is about 5,000 square feet with five-bedrooms, four-baths and a price tag of $700,000. The photos are a different story. A random staircase shot resembles something you’d expect to see at the Overlook Hotel in Stephen King’s The Shining. It has us screaming, “REDRUM! REDRUM!”

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

The shot of the kitchen area made our eyes all glassy, as we couldn’t figure out where to look first. “Busy” is an understatement. We don’t need a thousand words to describe these photos, but rather just one — nah.

10. All thumbs

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

Our next listing comes out of Shreve, OH and features a “fantastic starter home with a lot of charm.” The home in question is 1,400 square feet with three-bedrooms and one-bathroom. There’s also an above ground pool, and the photo of said pool made us chuckle. The homeowner managed to snap a great pic of their thumb in the process and two sets of tracks in the snow. We had to stop and wonder for a moment about the paths not taken.

11. Deer in headlights

Photo: forsalebyowner.com

The holidays are obviously very festive in this Grafton home. A large Christmas tree, complete with piles of presents stacked underneath, and a lively set of mounted deer heads wearing Christmas stocking caps are included among this listing’s assorted photos.

More Like This

The BuzzBuzzReport

The hottest real estate headlines delivered weekly